Episode Transcript
Welcome to at MADISEL Coach and MADISEL TV's Words Fitly Spoken podcast. Hello there. I'm Coach Sandra, and I'm the host of Words Fitly Spoken podcast. Words Fitly spoken are words spoken at the right time for your encouragement and enrichment. On this podcast, we will deal with emotional and mental wellness by talking about the conflicts we have in our everyday relationships, whether at home, work, school, and the community.
Stop in to hear some helpful words that create awareness about your emotional health. One of the things that as a, as an emotional wellness coach that I, uh, don't like hearing, because it can be very discouraging for people, is when others will say, or some of us will hear this, somebody will say, stop being in your feelings.
Stop being in your feelings. That's unhealthy. It's, uh, counterproductive. Um, in a lot of ways, I believe it's impossible. Uh, I'm human. My feelings are a part of my humanity to stop being in them. You're saying to me, I need to unplug, for lack of a better term, it would be die. So I don't encourage it. I think your feelings are important and it's okay to be in them.
It's not okay to let them control you, but it's totally okay to be in your feelings. So I would really like for us to stop telling our fellow humans to stop being in their feelings. I think it's a very, uh, unhealthy statement to make, and it's a discouraging thing. Um, In relationships, what I've also noticed, the person who will initiate the statement, stop being in your feelings.
What they really are telling you is, I feel uncomfortable with your feelings, so the only thing I know to do is to tell you to stop. When in reality they need to deal with what they're feeling. They need to deal with. I'm uncomfortable. Which is like being, you feel awkward. So instead of embracing your awkward, I'm going to correct you, or I'm going to judge you, or I'm going to condemn you for being emotional right now for being in your feelings.
Here's something for those who have made it a habit of saying the statement, I challenge you to tell people, I see you're, you're really into your feelings right now. What are you, what are you learning about yourself as you're, you're communicating your feelings to me? What are you learning about yourself?
Now, remember, it's totally possible. The person who is in their feelings, they are struggling with being understood. In another talk, I deal with that topic. We actually put too much emphasis on trying to be understood and it can make us become overly emotional because we are demanding that you, the listener or the other person in the conflict or the relationship understand everything about me, and that's humanly impossible.
You'd have to live my life and if you're living my life, where am I? Yeah, I know that takes us into maybe the mega verse. I wasn't trying to take us there. Alright, so
my sarcasm, when someone says, stop being in your feelings, my sarcasm says, well, whose feelings should I be in, if not my own? Now I make a point in that sarcasm, whose feelings should I be in, if not my own feelings? Are you saying I'm not valuable? Are you saying my feelings are not appropriate for this conversation?
Then that means I'm not appropriate for the conversation because I and my feelings. Part of a package. My package is called Sandra D. Johnson. I have a master's in human service counseling and I'm a certified trauma professional. So my feelings are part of me. By the way, my feelings have been growing with me when I was a mini me and now I'm a major me.
So from a child to an adult, my feelings have come with me. My feelings have been at everything that I have been happy about. My feelings have been at everything that has broken my heart, so it's all of me. It's a package
being in your feelings. In other words, get to know your emotions. What are your emotions telling you about? You get to know. You can be in your feelings. Okay? I'm giving you permission. Be in your feelings. What that means is you need to get to know yourself, get to know your emotions, understand what they're talking to you about.
What are your emotions telling you about yourself? What is this fear saying about me? There's some things I struggle with. What is this discouragement saying about me? There's some things that make me sad. Uh, what is this happy doing for me? Oh, I enjoy that color. I enjoy that smell. I enjoy that taste. I am uniquely me.
You are uniquely you.
My feelings matter. I'll say that again. My feelings matter. Your feelings matter. Your emotional self is tied to your soul self. We talk about self-care or we hear about self-care. That's actually about soul care. Your emotional self is tied to your soul self. Lastly, I'll say this, get connected. Get understanding, get well.
It doesn't say give understanding. It says get understanding, meaning you understand what's happening inside of you. Get connected. Get connected to what's happening inside of you. Get well. And I think the person telling someone to not be in their feelings, that was advice for you. But it's also advice for those of us who are more communic, communicative with our emotions and our feelings, and it actually hurts to hear someone say to me or someone else.
Get outta your feelings. Why are you in your feelings? So again, I'm encouraging you. Change the narrative, please. We're actually doing harm by not letting people know that their emotional self is their val is a valuable self. And you're also doing a disservice to yourself by not being comfortable with uncomfortable.
That's something you have to work through. All right, thanks again for stopping by. Our conversations are not always about feel goods. I hope they're about encouragement. I hope it's about truth. I hope it's about an experience that you needed. I needed to share it so somebody needed to hear it. Thanks so much for stopping in.
We love having you here. Don't forget to subscribe. Like it. Make your comments and share it. Check us out everywhere at MADISEL coach and MADISEL TV right here. Bye-bye.
